Does you guys old ladies give you lip?

[klowndog]

I joined up at this gym last week, to get more isolation excercises. It can't replace my dungeon setup in the garage, I get the best concentration, and feel more hardcore when in there (maybe cause Im a big fish in a little pond in there).

But any way, to the point, my girlfriend gives me shit about going to the gym after work.

"Oh okay, well, I'll just find something to do until then", you know the guilt trip kind of thing.

I'm like "Good, you should find something to do besides sit on your ass after work." And I was like "I'm sorry that I can't be by your side from the minute after I get off work till the minute I go to bed, if thats what youre looking for, sorry."

Anyone else with this experience?

 

[mcgaret]

When I first meet my wife, I told her that certain things are my prioritys - with work
and working out being two of them. I told her that if she wanted to see me it would
have to work around that. I held my ground and been married for 17 years now and
she NEVER gives me shit about working out.
One thing you might use in your case that I have used before is stress that you are
at the gym, NOT OUT CHEATING ON HER!! How long have you been going out with
her?? It sounds like a power play where they see if they can get control over you.
My advice is - dont get angry but HOLD YOUR GROUND and tell her thats just the way
it is.

 

[irishpride]

i tell my old lady (mcgaret) that if i wanted any lip from her i would unzip my zipper...then i cook my own food and sleep on the couch..i showed her whats up

 

[BiggerStronger]

yeah, definitely a power play. Albeit a stupid one but all the same. I have dealt with this on a few different occassions. The first two I just went ahead and did whatever I wanted. The last (my wife...lol) will occasionally use the ol' "I'll just go shopping while you're working out" and my workout is already ruined. I'm pretty sure she knows I'll go home to make sure she doesn't buy her way into the broke house. lol. Actually I try to just fit it in when she's working or doing something at the house. My wife doesn't really give me shit about it though.

 

[jtunderdog]

I am assuming from the comment that she doesn't work out. I know how you feel. The first suggestion would be to try and get her involved, but then again if this is your "alone" thing and your quality time alone don't do it. I agree about the power play thing as well. My wife and kids try to pull the guilt trip thing on me and that is what they are doing. My wife acts like me going somewhere on a weekend is the greatest sin ever committed so I made up my mind that I would watch UFC fights somewhere else and make her get use to. In truth you can't change anyone. You may find some area of comprise but neither of you will change much especially if you both feel strongly about it. Good Luck.

 

[klowndog]

We've been together a year on the 28th of this month. Since we've been together, we've been attached at the hip. Everything we do together. This is the only thing I have ever done alone. We got a membership together at the gym about 8 months ago, but she never wanted to go, so I dropped that membership. My brother wanted to start working out with me so we got this one last week.

Like you said Bigger, your workout is already ruined. She wants to make me feel bad about it, and it works to a point, then it just pisses me off, and I say fuck it get over it.

Like McGaret said, I just gotta lay down the law, this is what I do, love it or leave it, or just use IP's advice......lol

I think it is just insecurity. Maybe she thinks Im cheating, but I think she knows I wouldn't(except if it was IP's mom.):thumbsup:

It's nice to feel wanted but damn, a little independence goes a long way with me.

 

[h8tr3d]

bitchez b crazy

 

[klowndog]

bitchez b crazy

No shit, sometimes I wonder if I'm better off single, but I'm getting too old to play the dating game anymore. :coollook:

 

[mcgaret]

I always give my wife a big hug with my sweaty tee-shirt when I come home or throw
in in her face. It is my way of saying "I WAS AT THE FUCKING GYM".
How about a sit down where you tell her that working out is part of YOU and if she
loves you then she will let you be you. (reversing the guilt). Tell her it makes you
feel good about yourself and you are a happier man - and does she want to deprive
you of the one thing , other then her,
that makes you happy? (more reversing the guilt) Then
emphasize it is exercising not cheating. Do it with a straight face and looking like your
going to cry. Let us know how she takes it.
When I layed down the law to my wife - and I explained the above to her - she
pretended like she wasent happy but told me years later she kind of liked the fact that
I acted like a man and put my foot down.
And to Irishpride - you are a shitty cook and you can stay on the couch!!!

 

[klowndog]

Good Shit

I always give my wife a big hug with my sweaty tee-shirt when I come home or throw
in in her face. It is my way of saying "I WAS AT THE FUCKING GYM".
How about a sit down where you tell her that working out is part of YOU and if she
loves you then she will let you be you. (reversing the guilt). Tell her it makes you
feel good about yourself and you are a happier man - and does she want to deprive
you of the one thing , other then her,
that makes you happy? (more reversing the guilt) Then
emphasize it is exercising not cheating. Do it with a straight face and looking like your
going to cry. Let us know how she takes it.
When I layed down the law to my wife - and I explained the above to her - she
pretended like she wasent happy but told me years later she kind of liked the fact that
I acted like a man and put my foot down.
And to Irishpride - you are a shitty cook and you can stay on the couch!!!

This is good shit man. I will definitely give it a go when I get home tonight after my workout. I can see the wet shirt in the face! Nice. I gues I need to man the fuck up. Anal sex isn't the only way to show a woman who's boss.JK.:coollook:

 

[NaughtyCowgirl]

I was going to suggest you get your girlfriend to go with you but it sounds like the gym thing isn't for her. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't go to the gym when I wanted or ride my horse whenever I feel like it. Lucky for me Stickler works out too so we either go together or some days we go separately depending on schedules but I would never tell Stickler he couldn't do something but I trust him 100%....maybe your girlfriend has some insecurites in her head that only she can work out......best of luck.......

 

[klowndog]

She caught me cheating on her shortly after we got together, and my ex still calls sometimes. Yes she is insecure. I guess that is the thing I need to try to work on. I need to make her trust me more.

 

[NAIR]

yikes, you might want to opt for an unbiased third party for a couple sessions (marriage counseling). These guys can really help elevate the communication in a relationship to a whole nother level. Just make sure the person is a published PHD and not some shit bag MA intern.

 

[klowndog]

yikes, you might want to opt for an unbiased third party for a couple sessions (marriage counseling). These guys can really help elevate the communication in a relationship to a whole nother level. Just make sure the person is a published PHD and not some shit bag MA intern.

Are you serious? I might mention that to her.

 

[NaughtyCowgirl]

She caught me cheating on her shortly after we got together, and my ex still calls sometimes. Yes she is insecure. I guess that is the thing I need to try to work on. I need to make her trust me more.[/QUOTE

UHHHHHH OOOOOOOOOOOOOO.........that changes things.......you might have to win her trust back and from a woman whom that has happened to more than once that is a huge thing to overcome.......

If you love her stop talking to your ex btw and have your ex stop calling you that is a huge no no!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[NAIR]

Are you serious? I might mention that to her.

dead serious. These people are experts in teaching people to communicate their most sincere issues. I believe you both will be very satisfied.

 

[mcgaret]

Unless there are other issues I'm not sure I'd go/pay for counseling so I could go to the
gym. Comunication is the key but I dont trust most "experts". My sister had a
neighbor who was a 'Highly Sought' Mariage counslor. I thought he was full of shit.
I later found out that his wife (who I knew also) was his fourth!! Dont get me
wrong, counsling can be good, but for this issue I think it might be a little extreme.
Just my opinion.

 

[Crazymank]

the gym is the only thing my wife doesnt give me shit about.

 

[mcgaret]

the gym is the only thing my wife doesnt give me shit about.

dosent she work at the front desk??

 

[NAIR]

Unless there are other issues I'm not sure I'd go/pay for counseling so I could go to the
gym. Comunication is the key but I dont trust most "experts". My sister had a
neighbor who was a 'Highly Sought' Mariage counslor. I thought he was full of shit.
I later found out that his wife (who I knew also) was his fourth!! Dont get me
wrong, counsling can be good, but for this issue I think it might be a little extreme.
Just my opinion.

yeah bud, I hear your position but at long as the PHD is professional and competent within the scope of their practice, their personal life shouldn't matter. They are not there to live as role models for the rest of us to look up to. They're their to offer a perspective; an outside looking in approach. Then they can help people to develop to better communicate and better navigate relationship obstacles.

And no, I'm going to law school. I will never be a shrink.