Stalker at the gym WTF is the right thing to do, please help!!!

[Metal85]

its seriously a huge issue this guy in his 40s keeps staring at my wife evertime we go to the gym, not glancing but staring, for 20-30 seconds at a time. Today we get on the calf raise machine, I take a weight off for her, and didnt even walk 4 feet away and I heard the guy talking to her saying r u done with this, (he already knows I dont like him from what I have said out loud 10 feet from him about staring. I said really loud last week well if this guy is going to stare at ur ass Im going to stare at his and make him feel uncofortabe, I did, he saw me and said nothing), so I said no,no, no, we r not done, he stands there 1 1/2 feet away from the machine and doesnt leave, i said we r gonna b on this a while he (while he stared at Jes) he said I dont care, so I said so u r just going to stand there staring, he said yeah, u have a problem with that? I said yea I do, ur just gonna stand a foot away and fucking stare at us while we workout out, get the fuck outta here, he said I dont care im standing here, I said what ur a tuf guy? he says nothing so I squeeze in between him and the machine inches infront of him with my back to him, he doesnt move.
Than I load my plates for the next exercise, and ask Jes if she wants to get a drink real quick, I make it to the fountain, look back and hes on it, so im thinking wtf, I walk over to it starin him down , he gets off, I get on it, put my arm down into his puddle of sweat and I said WTF! r u gonna wipe this fucking sweat off, he said no, im not done with the machine, I said , no fuck u ur not on the machine, im on it, not u, wipe ur shit up, Im not working out with u, I dont know u , ur not my friend, wipe this shit up,(I went from talking to yelling by the 4th word I said, whole gym was looking) he said u have a problem I reply yes I dohave a fucking problem, he said it again and I stated ur my fucking problem , he walked away and told the gym guy, so the gym guy walked up to me and i explained what this guy has been doin and how I spoke to the gym owner already,I also mentioned how stalkers are real ppl, not just hollywood bs (the guy was 5 feet away when I said this) the gym employee completyely took my side and will speak with the owner tomorro. Hard to explain whole situation via text but this guy is very weird and very much a stalker, I am protective over my wife and thats y I acted this way. What the hell should I do, he was obviously testing me today, after the calf machine incident he did 4-5 other exercises so its not like he was waiting bc it was the last thing to do. PLEASE seriously give me good input. I dont hit ppl unless they push or hit me first and the way I spoke to the guy thats 20 years older than me, should have made him do one of those things but he didnt

 

[tri-terror]

I think you need to talk to gym management. As soon as he starts in again, let them know what is going on and tell them you want him gone.
If it were me I would very much want to hit him, but I'm a hothead and get into trouble that way! Gym management should be receptive to you wanting to work out in peace and NOT have some creepo staring your wife down.

 

[Mrbigz]

dude, i wouldnt of even bothered talking to that piece of shit, you should have just walked straight up to him and punched him in his fuckn head. expecially infront of your wife......bro, beat that fuckers head in!!!!!!

 

[Mrbigz]

i dont give a fuck how old poeple are, their ignorant, no one in their little lifes has ever put a stop to their bull shit......except you, now. so, follow this fucker into the locker room or out side, and kick him dead in his fuckn nut sack and beat his fuckn ass bro!!!!!

this thread gets me shaking, ive expirienced many weirdos like this fuck messing with you......

 

[Presser]

The last thing u want to do is wind up in handcuffs bro! So dont hit him,lol, but thats the mid 30's Presser talking, the mid 20's presser would have laid him the fuck out no questions asked, but i have been arrested countless times for fighting in my youth so take it from the wiser me, dont hit him bro, it will wind up costing you thousands in lawyer fees and a record if cant afford a good lawyer.

Sounds like he wants u to hit him if u ask me, so for all u know this creep could be a cop, ex law or connected to law and is just waiting to get u to touch him

We had the EXACT same thing happen in a gym wife and i worked out at years ago, this pervert would watch womens croches through the mirrors, so we got managment ahead of time and tol him to watch the guy then we had one of the girls in the gym go do abductors, and ofcourse this creap got ona machine next to her to watch her croch, and he was asked to leave right away! The last straw before we got managment involved is when we watched this perve watching girls croches in mirror then he would leave and go out to his car and come back in 10 minutes later and find another girl to watch, and if u watched him he didnt follow any exercise routine, he jumped on whatever machine that showed the best angle of a womens croch area

anyways it happens alot bro in gyms around the world!

 

[dorian123]

beat him at his own game, the next time you see him...get a foot away from him and where ever he goes you follow him and stay within a foot of his face.

bathroom parking lot doesn't matter

if he uses a machine take the weights off or better yet add more weight so he has to take them off in between sets

the second he touches you call the police and file a restrant order

he could be a wierdo or he could be sitting outside your house right now

 

[big in vegas]

This is why I can't have my gf go to the gym with me. Obviously we all know what goes through a guy's mind. And knowing that is more than likely the reason we all get pissed off. It's one thing if it's a random girl in the gym by herself, but when you're right there with her, it's completely different. Some may say you should take it as a compliment, but I won't, I take it as a slap in the face. And like Presser, as often as a couple of years ago, I'd say grab a 10# plate and beat his ass, now I say let it go and you'll eventually get your revenge without breaking the law. Or at least without getting caught...Find out what he drives, get his licenses plate number and find out a home address via the DMV or a cop friend. Then you can do annoying shit to him without getting into trouble. I won't get into any details, but you can use your imagination as to what you'd like to do to get even.

Management should throw him out, it's better to lose one membership than for both of you to leave. It's a business decision that they shouldn't have to think too hard about, but who knows. I wouldn't do anything until you know how they're going to react. Worse case scenario, if nothing happens, if you have a clean record, beat his ass or pay a stranger (friend) to do it. He can't press charges if he has no idea who it was

 

[big in vegas]

Or if you really have a sick sense of humor and want to get away with beating his ass, have your girl give him your guys' address and tell him to come over sometime (if she hasn't showed extreme disgust already) and then if/when he's there, he's on private property. You can do the math from there lol

 

[meow]

Or you could totally grab your wife's ass right in front of him and give it a good rub. Then you can say to him, "you can never have this so ya might as well give up."
Or you could just ignore him and go about your biz, your choice if you really want to give this idiot an audience.

 

[big in vegas]

Or you could totally grab your wife's ass right in front of him and give it a good rub. Then you can say to him, "you can never have this so ya might as well give up."
Or you could just ignore him and go about your biz, your choice if you really want to give this idiot an audience.

Hell, I'd go grab his ass but that might create more problems

 

[NAIR]

What if you just kill him with kindness?

Just try for a minute or two to bury the hate and tell him that you and you're wife feel really uncomfortable because you believe he is starring at her etc. Just tell him you feel disrespected etc. Pretend to give him the bennifit of the doubt like "maybe we have it al wrong etc."

I don't know man, some people respond well to that. I'm getting a whole hell of a lot better controlling my anger but thinking back to when I've been my most outrageous, raging dick-head frame of mind and it was the people who were calm, respectful, and polite that always shut me right the fuck and I'd actually end up feeling bad. I'd actually end up saying sorry sometimes and never fuck with em again.

I think its worth a shot.

 

[mcgaret]

Like Presser, I'd be tempted to take him 'out' quick - but not the smart thing to do. I think that if your wife tells the owner he is stalking
her and making her VERY NERVOUS, it will get better results then you saying it. (people are more worried about sexual lawsuits) I would
say everytime he is there both of you complain heavily to owner/staff.

 

[Metal85]

Thanks guys, im 25 so I def have the rage, however I wont hit someone unless they push or hit me 1st, which by the tone in which I was using he should have. I wouldnt rub her ass bc that would turn the guy on more so no bueno. I already said out loud last time "if he is goin to stare at ur ass imma stare at his' he looked over and i was starin at his ass, he got up walked to the water fountain and I stared very obviously at his ass the whole time. Earlier this week he saw me walking thru a narrow part of the gym so he walked towards me, in my way so I would have to angle my body to get past him, but instead I shouldered him bc fuck that guy, I already had an issue, today was insane, hes getting more aggressive each time and who knows if hes gonna follow some woman to there car or home, or what he will do if he gets kicked out. When u r a loner like myself when u have someone u love its like ur weakness, ur kryptonite, he cant do anything to me that I would be afraid of, but to her thats scary, thanks for your input, tomorrow I will speak with manager. I dont want to get into a fight bc my left wrist has a chip in it, and 6 months ago I had surgery on right arm tricep, not to say that would hold me back bc after what I said today I was ready to go, however I also have a license for work in the medical field which that can be completely fucked if I fight... What happened to the days of ppl realizing there are repercussions for there actions????? Everyone today feels like they can say or do whatever they want with no reaction, I come from a place where if u do something the repercussions are equal to what u did, this society is erasing this fact, and thats why doctors feel like they can sexually harass women, and why stupid curly headed fucks like this 45 year old guy is acting like a 12 year old and I have to act like the grown up. Another thing is retaliation, u cant just wip someones ass now, they will def do something back, have it be fucking up your car or shooting u....... I fucking hate ppl, im not a pessamist im a realist and I feel like no one should even have to deasl with an issue like this but I guess im wrong

 

[Metal85]

This is why I can't have my gf go to the gym with me. Obviously we all know what goes through a guy's mind. And knowing that is more than likely the reason we all get pissed off. It's one thing if it's a random girl in the gym by herself, but when you're right there with her, it's completely different. Some may say you should take it as a compliment, but I won't, I take it as a slap in the face. And like Presser, as often as a couple of years ago, I'd say grab a 10# plate and beat his ass, now I say let it go and you'll eventually get your revenge without breaking the law. Or at least without getting caught...Find out what he drives, get his licenses plate number and find out a home address via the DMV or a cop friend. Then you can do annoying shit to him without getting into trouble. I won't get into any details, but you can use your imagination as to what you'd like to do to get even.

Management should throw him out, it's better to lose one membership than for both of you to leave. It's a business decision that they shouldn't have to think too hard about, but who knows. I wouldn't do anything until you know how they're going to react. Worse case scenario, if nothing happens, if you have a clean record, beat his ass or pay a stranger (friend) to do it. He can't press charges if he has no idea who it was

yeah I agree I hate when people say take it as a compliment, like no, why the fuck should I take that as a compliment, stare at my car and I will feel that way, my Wife is a little different than that though. If someone is staring thats the biggest sign of disrepect known to man, the song 'Walk' (Respect) from Pantera comes to mind

 

[Metal85]

some of the lyrics from 'Walk'

"Be yourself, by yourself
Stay away from me"​

"Can't you see how easily I'm bothered by persistence

One step from lashing out at you... "​

​

​

This song should basically have been playing while this all unfolded

 

[Metal85]

UPDATE:
Today I told the gym manager what happened, he took my written statement and said he has to show the guy a copy of the statement and have him sign it, and if this happens again the next step is to terminate him. He is supposed to get the guys name for me.
I told him I think the guy should be terminated now bc this is the type of person that will follow a woman out to her car or home, and I said than it's on u at that point. I also said If this guy does something to me, I dont know what Im going to do, or how im going to react, he said well he will get terminated, I replied, no I mean I dont know what im going to do, like knock his teeth down his throat. He said they have to take these steps first.
What do u guys think with this follow up?

 

[Mrbigz]

good thinking, sorry for my input yesterday. ive been really working on that kinda stuff. i just could relate a hundred percent to your situation.

all these guys gave damn good advice.

i love MC its like therapy, sometimes.

 

[Metal85]

good thinking, sorry for my input yesterday. ive been really working on that kinda stuff. i just could relate a hundred percent to your situation.

all these guys gave damn good advice.

i love MC its like therapy, sometimes.

Hey dont apologize i really feel the same way, society has strayed from the times of u do something u shouldnt u get fucked up, and now there are jackasses everywhere who think they can do whatever they want, I really appreciate everyones input, and I agree it is like therapy, it helped me cool down a bit, but I might have to see the guy again tonight after he gets served witht that incident report I had to write up today, so Il see how that goes if hes there. I hate when tall or fat ppl think they r badass bc of height or weight..... fuggin aggravating, doesnt help that if I get into a fight I would have my med license revoked and have to appeal it and pay for that whole process, but when the tunnel vision starts bc the anger I dont think about any of that

 

[Ox 51]

I think you've done all you can at this point. Certainly don't touch the guy unless it is in self-defense, you don't want that kind of trouble. Keep an eye out for him, but don't look to make trouble for him, otherwise it can look like you are the one bothering him. Also, stay close to your girl if he is around and definitely don't let her go by herself until it blows over. Also, if you know that he is doing this with other ladies you need to encourage them to file a complaint too. If multiple people complain, the gym owner can't ignore it.

 

[Metal85]

I think you've done all you can at this point. Certainly don't touch the guy unless it is in self-defense, you don't want that kind of trouble. Keep an eye out for him, but don't look to make trouble for him, otherwise it can look like you are the one bothering him. Also, stay close to your girl if he is around and definitely don't let her go by herself until it blows over. Also, if you know that he is doing this with other ladies you need to encourage them to file a complaint too. If multiple people complain, the gym owner can't ignore it.

Yeah the manager said if there is another complaint like that the guy is gone, so I may see if a friend wants to make that complaint, good advice, Im pretty much always the kind of person that wont hit someone unless they push or hit me first. I have alot of friends that if they were in this situation, they would have walked up and just hit him in his shit w/out saying a word, I personally have to get amped up b4 I do that