Woman issues...I'm too buff for her??

[The Survivor]

OK I'll make Gone with the Wind into a cliff note....back in 2006 I started dating a 41 yr old divorced woman w/4 kids. As usual we screwed like jack rabbits, then about 4 months into this she just disappeared....I thought she went back to her abusive crack head hubby. Turned out she was falling in love with me, didn't want to get hurt and bolted. So since then we hooked up twice for sex (about a 1 1/2 yr ago).

Now 2 months ago I finally told her that I really liked her.....which surprised her as she thought I was in her for just a piece. So for 2 months we have been discreetly seeing each other, almost all at my gym. She got a bit heavier since the last time we got horizontal and it bothers the shit out of her. (shes short and small w/big tits) and she has told me that she will NOT sleep w/me until she gets back to her original size, which involves dropping about 25-30 lbs. She said its intimidating being w/ a BB (me) cause she feels so fat next to me. My physique now works against me argghhh!

I guess I'm trying to figure out if she's sincere about this or leading me on. I've been training her at my gym for almost 2 months and she has made good progress. But damn w/the shit I'm taking I'm hornier than a snake in a field of garden hoses. Anyone else here run across situation like this?? I'm half tempted to call her bluff and tell her put out or see ya. But that could be a huge mistake if she means what she says. Or maybe I should just keep pulling my pork and be patient. Or pursue other targets...

 

[big in vegas]

I've never had that problem. But I've heard from a lot of girls that just by the looks of a toned body that instantly the guy is too good for them because they aren't in shape

 

[The Dude]

I've never had that problem. But I've heard from a lot of girls that just by the looks of a toned body that instantly the guy is too good for them because they aren't in shape

I'd like to be the first one that calls bullshit on a girl, but I've seen this a few times especially if the girl wants a relationship.
My advice is to get her on a strict diet with some Aquaburn and maybe a tad of T3. If she's serious she'll dive in head first.

 

[The Survivor]

I'd like to be the first one that calls bullshit on a girl, but I've seen this a few times especially if the girl wants a relationship.
My advice is to get her on a strict diet with some Aquaburn and maybe a tad of T3. If she's serious she'll dive in head first.

Yes agreed, I've seen the games they play many times and am leery. She told me before the first time was for lust, but this time she wants to be in love when she hits the sheets again. She has been consistent with her WO's I have to say. Maybe I'll give her some more time and tough it out

 

[mcgaret]

Bro., if your training her then be straight! Tell her the best cardio is sex (with her trainer so she knows she is doing it right)
If she really is serious about getting in shape she will have to trust you. Tell her like you are dead serious. Dosent always
work, I've been telling that to my wife for years with no resulst.
I have had women be self conscience about their bodys when they see me in shape. I just keep telling them how good they look
and what a turn on they are. They usually get over it. You have to really be serious though.

 

[The Dude]

Yes agreed, I've seen the games they play many times and am leery. She told me before the first time was for lust, but this time she wants to be in love when she hits the sheets again. She has been consistent with her WO's I have to say. Maybe I'll give her some more time and tough it out

With that in mind a few other things pop into my head.
1. Are you sure she isn't screwing somebody else?
2. So its OK for her to fuck a random dude when she's out of shape, but not some one she likes?
3. Is she going to pull this shit everytime she feels self conscious? Does she have no regard for your needs?
4. Is there something wrong with her mouth??
I'm just sayin....

 

[Jpotch]

If u get her horny enough she'll go for it.

 

[lisarox]

In my off season I feel like a fat slob and I hate my hubby seeing me naked or being intimate with him because of how I "feel" I look. If I am not sexy in my own eyes how can I be sexy in his? This is how a woman thinks. Now when my hubby is bulking or not quite as lean I think nothing of it. Plus womans hormones really fuck with us. If all you men do is talk about how great you are doing in the gym, it just sounds to us like you saying how bad we are doing. Maybe make extra sure to mention next time you are working out together how great her ass or abs are looking and you would love to see her naked or suggest a post workout shower together. Make her feel like you are extremely attracted to her. Don't be so focused on how well she "will" look. Tell her how good she "does " look and then keep her going at the gym. Just a thought.

 

[The Survivor]

In my off season I feel like a fat slob and I hate my hubby seeing me naked or being intimate with him because of how I "feel" I look. If I am not sexy in my own eyes how can I be sexy in his? This is how a woman thinks. Now when my hubby is bulking or not quite as lean I think nothing of it. Plus womans hormones really fuck with us. If all you men do is talk about how great you are doing in the gym, it just sounds to us like you saying how bad we are doing. Maybe make extra sure to mention next time you are working out together how great her ass or abs are looking and you would love to see her naked or suggest a post workout shower together. Make her feel like you are extremely attracted to her. Don't be so focused on how well she "will" look. Tell her how good she "does " look and then keep her going at the gym. Just a thought.

Thanks for opining from a females view. I feel better about this whole thing. Its just I've been played before (haven't we all) and dont want to get fooled again. When I'm bulked up at 245, I'm actuallly kinda gun shy myself....in fact I refuse to go to the beach w/o a tank top on.

 

[dorian123]

you wanna know what the real problem is? you're not seeing other women...because if you were you wouldn't care if you were having sex with her-my advice is see other women...when she's ready, she's ready

until then don't worry about it and see other women-until you two have come to the agreement to see each other and no one else then you should expect that she is and so should you

 

[big in vegas]

^^^That's about what I was thinking after reading through all of this. I mean I understand that you like her, but I'd also have a back up plan or something to keep your interest

 

[mcgaret]

I agree. If she thinks you will stray, she probably will try to keep you around.

 

[big in vegas]

Any progress here?

 

[Presser]

lol, funny thread, glad i didnt miss it

 

[The Survivor]

Any progress here?

The ironic thing is that I would tell another bro exactly what I'm being advised here. At my age I've dated and mated many women and a lot of my male friends come to me for advice but at times I'm clueless when it comes to me, reason is I cant see the forest because of the trees

Interesting enough is a theory that I'm sure many share here....in my case I seem to get screwed over by a certain type of woman, (blondes w/big boobs) but in fact its ME who acts a certain way, ie maybe too interested, that causes them to blow me off. But all the other ones who I dont act like that all stay interested....hmm.

So going forward, I decided to act totally indifferent to her....let her think my attraction for her is waning. It may take a while for her to catch on, but its a plan.

Is there anyone else shes seeing? No indication. So I doubt it. But you never know....but doubtful

 

[mcgaret]

Hows it working?

 

[The Survivor]

Hows it working?

Well so far no real change. I told her the other day that we dont need to communicate everyday. She appeared a bit testy after that. She came in to WO yesterday and said something about when we are going to go on vacation together sometime.

Other than that, her usual aloof self. Thanks for asking

 

[leei3]

hey fella,
Iv had similar problem, my girlfriend said tis because she feels like she wants to be the pretty good looking one by myside, not me
being the buff bulked up one with a chubby girl, which is fair enough makes them feel like they are not good enough.
but at the end of the day it all bottles down to if she likes you enough, because if she does she will appricate your time and effort
you put into getting the body you have and be proud of it rather than indimidated.

 

[The Survivor]

hey fella,
Iv had similar problem, my girlfriend said tis because she feels like she wants to be the pretty good looking one by myside, not me
being the buff bulked up one with a chubby girl, which is fair enough makes them feel like they are not good enough.
but at the end of the day it all bottles down to if she likes you enough, because if she does she will appricate your time and effort
you put into getting the body you have and be proud of it rather than indimidated.

Thing is shes NOT fat, just a bit soft due to the fact she a bit short and has big titts. Its all her perception of herself. Plus the fact she married the biggest loser around, he was a crackhead, drunk, stoner etc and of course he cheated on her. So she has more issues than Time magazine. But as with a lot of women, low self esteem

 

[leei3]

indeed women these days feel that have to look like the fit big tited flat stomached women on tv but that sint the case,
i for one dont like skinny girls you gota ahve some meat on ya! hopefdully shell see that your better and not like the other idiot she went with and slowly them issues will fade bro, but your right its her view she proberly sees it compeltely different in the mirror than you do.