Damn, I never knew breaking up could be so shitty...

[92StangMan]

My girlfriend and I of almost 8 months broke up a few hours ago since we didn't see "eye-to-eye" on a couple of things. You may remember my "For those of you who have been in a relationship or married" thread.

I feel like an asshole for even saying some of the things I did but it wasn't as if I didn't mean them. She is going through a semi-rough time right now and felt like I was putting unneeded stress on her. I tried to keep it in as long as I could to help her out but it had to be let out sooner or later.

She had two previous boyfriends that fucked her over, her mom has been married twice and she's getting a divorce with this guy. They are both good people but get stuck in shitty situations sometimes. By her expierences with love, she has a negative view for it since nothing good has really happened to her before she met me. I really loved her and I feel like she loved me but she would never show it.

It was kind of mutual but I'm still not sure whether she said she felt the same way just to agree and make me happy (Am I happy? Nope!) or if that's what she really felt.

Since she had some shitty luck with guys, I felt like she was putting me through certain things (ie. test) to see if I was 'qualified' or if I really loved her. I understand maybe a few things but after 8 months of it, I grew tired of it.

I've known several people to go through breakups and I always thought it was a part of life. It may be, but it sucks. She was my first love and it really sucks that 8 months have to go down the drain like that.

She is one the sweetest girl that I have ever met and she is really beautiful. She thinks that if we have sex, it'll ruin our relationship since that's how she got screwed over by the two other guys. I figured with 8 months of being loyal to her, she may realize that I truely did love her but she never did. Sex is a beautiful thing if it's with a person that you love, but I hate it that she didn't want to share it.

Another thing that is pissing me off, there are a few guys that work with us and trying to hit on her since she's single now. Hopefully they won't take it too far because I don't play around with that bullshit. That is disrespectful to me and her and I'll break their fuckin' nose if they try to take advantage of the situation.

[92StangMan's Final Thoughts] If you and someone you care about are not getting along or they do something that really gets to you, talk to them about it and be honest. I tried to with her but I don't think she trusted me 100%. I never did one thing that would sacrafice her trust for me and that's what hurts.

Life is full of shitty moments but always know and tell your wife/fiance'/girlfriend that you do love and care about them and through hard work, anything can be accomplished.[/92StangMan's Final thoughts]

 

[tinman01]

Bro I wish my X would have read your last paragraph....

 

[Nitrous Oxide]

Awwghh...that sucks man ..you almost made me cry..Life is nothing but a bunch of shit...most of us don't know how to live a good life..and when you don't know how to do that only bad things will happend to you. As for your situation, I went thru that over..and over..and same shit happens always..however..you can't do nothing about it..God created people to suffer..and..suffering aint easy..I hope things work out good..between you and your girlfriend or should I say your ex-gf.
Good luck to ya, and keep us updated !

 

[viper10139]

Hey bro, trust me I know how u feel, it's been very hard for me as well, my X dumped me on christmas eve..it was lame and it sucked, I thought I would never ever to get through it..I couldn't eat, sleep, workout, or anything bro...trust me it will get better, sometimes we have to suffer, in order to get back on our feet again, and to realize the most important things we have in life.. Things are very complicated in life...trust me I know..but give it time bro..things will turn around, I agree..that last paragraph says it all.....You are a good man bro..keep your head up..it's her loss in the long run...but I wish u 2 the best of luck, and maybe u 2 will remain friends.....

 

[92StangMan]

Thanks for the replies, it helps me a lot.

The past two nights have been hard and I can't help but not blame myself for this. I can understand her decision about not having sex and I respect that. I just wish that I didn't want it so bad. But I'm human and I'm a guy.

I'm almost really thinking about getting back together with her. I love God and I know if I asked him to help me, he would and we can get through this. The only thing is, it is changing who I am. I don't know if I'm being stubborn but I feel like she needs to accept who I am.

I really don't know what to do. This is the only thing that we argue about. She keeps saying that she's a changed person and doesn't want to have sex but she doesn't mind fooling around. I just can't take going home with blue balls anymore.

I am fine right now since I haven't seen her all day, but tonight when she signs online, it'll be pretty tough.

I can tell my appetite has almost gone since I couldn't eat much this morning and my lunch ended up getting thrown away since I couldn't finish it off. The only place that I can be without this stress is in the gym since I am focused on my workout, not outside interuptions.

I'm going to head back and do some abs and cardio, then go home and try to find something to do.

And another thing that sucks. 95% of the people who I would hang out with are into drugs and alcohol. I am not that person and neither is Amber (my gf). But now that we have broken up, I really don't have anyone else to hang out with. I work 30 hours a week and go to school 16 hours a week and meeting people is a little tough.

I guess this is another one of God's test to see how much I can endore.



Corey

 

[Elmoduplaya]

keep yourself busy! that always helps and be nice to her as long as she shows you, that there is still a chance!

 

[bigjosh]

Keep your chin up bro; we've all been through tough times. Breakups are very rough. Just remember it will get better... Keep focussed on the things you enjoy doing that do not involve her, for instance your bodybuilding hobby.

I find the gym to be an invalueable tool in dealing with stress from simple day to day things to relationships to whatever else arises. After my workout I have a whole new outlook on the day. I honestly think bodybuilding has saved my life. It has gotten me through some very tough times. No matter who comes and goes I will always have me and the gym and the satisfaction it gives me is greater than anything else that I have ever come across. I am in love with this sport.

Anyways, goodluck w/ everything bro and let us know if you need anything.

 

[92StangMan]

I hear you, Josh. The gym is the place that relaxes me and also lets me take the stress out in a mannered way. I just put forth all of my agression into the reps and after my workout, I have no energy to be upset or mad.

The only two things that I can do to get away are weight lifting and drag racing. Since the tracks haven't opened yet around here, the gym is where you'll find me.

 

[blm9376]

Just like Elmo said, keep yourself busy. You will be alright. I can tell just by your last few sentences that you have a good head on your shoulders. Just be honest to yourself and everyone around you (even if it hurts there feelings) and you can always say that you did you best.

 

[organdoner]

channel that SAD energy into a massive workout. trash the bi's, tri's and chest for a sick workout. dude if you're not with her you have no right to get mad if someone tries to hit on her. if she's the sweet person you says she is then guys probably hit on her anyway. wtf1 go out and get some pussy or give in to what you really want and thats to be with the woman you know you love. a special relationship involves comprimise. my wife and i don't agree on shit but we're inseparateable. if she won't let you put it in will she at least let you eat it? sorry to be a dick bro. it's not the end of the world. make a decision to see it her way a little while longer. take a chance. two things that have to be real. love and gear.

 

[92StangMan]

Here's the e-mail that I got from her today...

(In regards to the e-mail I sent her last night) Hey, that email almost had me crying. I fee lso bad now and I miss you too
but I don't want to have to go through this again. I didn't know you had emailed me because someone had opened this already and it said I had no new emails. I feel like shit today. Have you told your mom about us yet? I'm sorry I hurt you (since she never gave me a chance). I'll talk to you later. Bye.

Oh yeah, The Ring comes out Tuesday (Her favorite movie). Bye

--The more I think about it, the more I think it is better off to be seperated but I know when she signs on, it'll turn the other way around. Oh well, I'll live.

 

[viper10139]

hey bro....listen up....I have been through the same exact thing, I am telling you...this will be very hard, the best advice someone told me was "the longest road a man has to travel is from his heart to his mind" Good luck bro...but you can tell that she still cares for you(loves you) who knows..however I can tell that you still have feelings for her and you are crazy about her, trust me that's all normal, just give it time bro..things will get better..I know you are thinking..."No they want" but trust me they will...give it time my friend....Go to the gym...and focus on you 100% and give it everything you have...You deserve the very best...and trust me...if it doesn't work out in the end...then there is someone better...I know you are thinking that you want her..trust me bro...I know these things because I have been there...kind of still there in a since...me and my X have been broken up for almost 3 months now...and the first or so..we didn't talk. or anything, then we started e-mailing and stuff like that..however now we kind of hang out every now and then..so trust me bro...give it time....because you never know...I was head over hills for this girl, madly,deeply in love with her...but we are just friends now..and it's great...now don't get me wrong, if u see her with another guy or something, don't get mad...You have to have PRIDE!!! and don't let it get to you..trust me..eaiser said than done.

Bro I know this is hard for you...trust me I used to wait on my X to get online so we can talk every morning before she went to work, I would already be at work, so trust me I know what u mean, get online do your thing..and if she gets online, let her come to you..bro...I tried to IM her or e-mail her...and I found out..it's a lot easier to avoid them as much as possible, and let them come to you, might be crazy but it works...Now when she gets online she will IM me..or e-mail me..so it's cool bro..we have talked and we are really good friends now..so don't worry bro..things will get better trust me.....I know u might be thinking that she is the one, which may be very possible we never know...but I wish the very best of luck in this situation bro..I will say a very special prayer for you and your X today...and I hope everything will work out for you the way you want them to work out...Bro remember this: If she can't love you for who you are....Then I am sorry bro....no woman is worth it....I am learning this now..trust me...My X did everything for me..and I took it for granite..she even gave me some shots!!!! so trust me...she understood that its a way of life for me...and now she turned against it...because I spent all of my money on that..and I was dedicated, but trust me bro...give it time..and let her come to you...see what happens..in the mean time..focus on yourself....Not saying nothing is wrong with you..but just focus on making yourself bigger, and better in the gym....Good Luck bro...I hope to hear from you soon, and if u ever need anything bro, just PM me..and I will reply.....I HATE SEEING MY BRO'S GO THROUGH THIS CRAP IT REALLY SUCKS!!!!

 

[bigjosh]

Hard stuff to deal with bro... we know... I thought I would never get through some of the stuff I have gotten through in the past with females I loved. Just remember like Viper said it will get better and pm or let us know if you need anything...

 

[bigshug]

I know this is a little untimely, but I have to say sorry for what you're going through...I know we've all been there at one time or another. With that said, she has no right to treat you a certain way just because she's been treated badly in the past. You're not any of the guys that dicked her over and it's certainly not fair to you not to give you the benefit of the doubt. If her emotions were true for you, she wouldn't have to "test" you or any of that other crap some women put us through just so they can hold the illusion of control in the relationship. It's tough, I know, but don't look for love,man - it'll find you when you least expect it.

 

[92StangMan]

Thanks a lot, bros, that means a lot to me; especially Viper's message. If you EVER need a prayer or a favor, feel free to PM me and I'll do whatever I can; so can anyone else.

She IM'd me last night as soon as she got on and we talked a little bit. She said she wasn't feeling too good since she was still emotionaly about us. I asked her if she wanted to talk about it and she said not then.

I was talking to one of my co-workers today about my situation and she said the best thing I can do is to leave her alone and not talk to her for a while. If I do not talk to her (ie. not look like I'm online), she may think that I have moved on and she may start to to worry.

It made sense when I started thinking about it. If we talk a lot, she will still stay in contact with me so her feelings may go away bit by bit. If I quit talking to her all the way, she'll want to hear from me or see me since she isn't used to that. Then when she wants to see me so bad, she'll realize how much she likes me and wants to get back together. What sucks is, World of Wheels is coming this weekend and she knows how I love cars. We were supposed to go to it but if I ask her to again, that'll make me look desperate.

This weekend will be tough on her, I assume. We would always do something and this time she'll have to sit at home by herself with her mom. I have some convention that I have to attend to for a grade in one of my classes so at least I'll stay busy. They have a gym, a pool and A LOT of high school girls running around

I really want to talk to her right now but like others have said, I must be strong. We talk on MSN some since she doesn't have AOL/AIM so when she signs on, I'll just log out but still be on the Internet.

It's funny how when we were talking about breaking up and I was seriously fine with it until she said it would be best. Then it all hit me and probably did her too.

If we argued about everything then I wouldn't even bother with trying to get back together with her, but this is the only thing that bother's us. Hopefully it can be worked out. If not, it wasn't meant to be.

Thanks everyone, and especially Viper!

 

[viper10139]

I am always here for all of my bro's, I went through this crap bro...trust me....I HATE TO SEE BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE!!! You are a good bro...I wish u the best of luck, and just remember what I said bro..hang in there..I am battling it everyday now..and everyday I wake up I say I am going to make myself better today, with her or without her..it doesn't matter....You stay strong bro...ANYTIME, ANYPLACE, ANYWHERE BRO..I WILL BE HERE FOR YOU!!! OR ANY OF YOU BRO'S.....

 

[92StangMan]

Viper, how long did you and your ex go out? It looks like you're moving on pretty good even though it does hurt.

When I opened my e-mail inbox, I saw an e-mail with Amber as the sender. I started to get happy since that is her name but it ended up being porn mail

It's tough not talking to her but I'm making out better than what I thought. She signed on last night and she was on for an hour or so but never IM'd me. I'm thinking it wasn't her since her friend will sign on sometimes; who knows. Monday when she signed on, she immediatly IM'd me. It's amazing what a prayer can do

Hopefully this time next week I'll have a lot better view on where we stand at. Until then, I am going to space myself from her so if it doesn't work, I won't be nearly as hard.

Thanks again!

 

[dedprez*]

personally from my experience...i dated a woman for over 6yrs and for the last few it was on/off most of the time...we fought alot but never really took a step back and looked at the situation that we had and what a blessing it really was...mayb that is what you to need to do...take a step back and take a breath...c what each other brings to the table to make the relationship work and go from there...people always think the grass is greener on the other side when in reality what you have in front of you is an oasis in the desert....another note tho...me and the woman of 6yrs are pretty good friends and i have found another woman that i care for very much....if i could have both i would....but that would be too sweet...j/k!!

 

[viper10139]

Yo Stang...we dated for almost a year, baically 11 months...to be exact..however man...trust me...I prayed that prayer for you the other day, and now after reading what u have typed, it's brought greater meaning to you and your life, I will say a prayer for you again today and tommorrow I will keep you and amber in my head when I go to pray...I wish u 2 the best of luck, trust me bro..easier said than done.
If she signed on and immeaditley IM'd you..thats a good thing in a way, showing she still cares and has feelings for you....and she wants everything to be ok...I think(my 2 cents) however then again....her friend signed on...and that could have been, very good point....there....don't worry bro..trust me..I get excited still when I see an e-mail from my X(Valerie) she was very special to me...and still is to this day..I miss her so much, it's unbeliveable..but it's hard to go on with out her...however its good that we are friends, we didn't talk for a while and that is what really killed me...now we hang out at least once a week sometimes 2...and just have a good time thats all....so trust me bro...keep your heart out of it..unless u want to get hurt again....but if u truly love her...then keep your heart going strong for her...and remember "All things are possible" not just some things, but ALL THINGS.....Trust me bro....I never thought I would have met a girl, that would shake my world and turn it upside down like my X did...but now I look back and think WOW someone so special and kind to me...that she would do that to me..so u know what...if its meant to be it will happen bro....I tell myself that...yes it's hard..its going to get harder...but bro..stay strong keep your head up...and your eyes open..
Bro no matter what....we all say, it's going to be left up to you..how u deal with it......here is what friends are for man...

May today there be peace within you. May you trust God that you are exactly
where you are meant to be. "I believe that friends are quiet angels who
lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."


Bro I will always be here for you and any bro's going through this, I went through an emotional break down, I went 4 days without eating.....and was going off of 7 hours of sleep in 4 days..so trust me I know, I now know what it takes to make it..and how to survive...they like to play games, but trust me bro..if it doesn't work out..I am sorry but "It's her loss, that she is losing the best thing that has ever happened to her" Take care bro...keep in touch...

-Viper

 

[viper10139]

Yo Stang...we dated for almost a year, baically 11 months...to be exact..however man...trust me...I prayed that prayer for you the other day, and now after reading what u have typed, it's brought greater meaning to you and your life, I will say a prayer for you again today and tommorrow I will keep you and amber in my head when I go to pray...I wish u 2 the best of luck, trust me bro..easier said than done.
If she signed on and immeaditley IM'd you..thats a good thing in a way, showing she still cares and has feelings for you....and she wants everything to be ok...I think(my 2 cents) however then again....her friend signed on...and that could have been, very good point....there....don't worry bro..trust me..I get excited still when I see an e-mail from my X(Valerie) she was very special to me...and still is to this day..I miss her so much, it's unbeliveable..but it's hard to go on with out her...however its good that we are friends, we didn't talk for a while and that is what really killed me...now we hang out at least once a week sometimes 2...and just have a good time thats all....so trust me bro...keep your heart out of it..unless u want to get hurt again....but if u truly love her...then keep your heart going strong for her...and remember "All things are possible" not just some things, but ALL THINGS.....Trust me bro....I never thought I would have met a girl, that would shake my world and turn it upside down like my X did...but now I look back and think WOW someone so special and kind to me...that she would do that to me..so u know what...if its meant to be it will happen bro....I tell myself that...yes it's hard..its going to get harder...but bro..stay strong keep your head up...and your eyes open..
Bro no matter what....we all say, it's going to be left up to you..how u deal with it......here is what friends are for man...

May today there be peace within you. May you trust God that you are exactly
where you are meant to be. "I believe that friends are quiet angels who
lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."


Bro I will always be here for you and any bro's going through this, I went through an emotional break down, I went 4 days without eating.....and was going off of 7 hours of sleep in 4 days..so trust me I know, I now know what it takes to make it..and how to survive...they like to play games, but trust me bro..if it doesn't work out..I am sorry but "It's her loss, that she is losing the best thing that has ever happened to her" Take care bro...keep in touch...

-Viper
(this is not posting, when it does I don't hope it posts like 3-4 times)