I know what you mean bro, this whole sport/lifestyle is a head game. I love how I feel when I'm fuller too, I welcome bloat at times no joke. But also giving my height ext. I have found out where I look and feel the best, it's a fine line bro. Just keep doing what your doing cause you look great, get up in the Duce's and lean out from there. You may even be sitting at 205 next year and lean this time around, just keep at it bro.
For shirts, I buy a tone of tee's and such, and shrink them, I have loads that are new that I dont like how I look, you just gotta shop around and see where and what you look best in, and you may find that you'll like how you look in one shirt at 185lbs, and the next months hate how you look at 200lbs in the same shirt. ext..