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Get me off this binge Rollercoaster!

first blood

MuscleChemistry Member
Keeping it short but a little background...
Over the fall my mom got real sick with her cancer and wound up in hospice and dies a month later ...day after Thanksgiving... leading up to her death and now 2 months past been using binge eating as a form of stress relief. It turned into a habit I can't break.

Everyday is groundhogs day. I wake up and say today is the day. I eat perfect all day. And I am rock solid with proper mindset. But after dinner I go from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde.... complete different mindset. I become completely self sabotaging. I will eat ridiculous amounts of peanut butter....and whole bars of chocolate...and not even really be hungry.
The only good thing is its natural PB and organic 85% dark chocolate...both of which offer health benefits. But eating 6 to 10 tablespoons and a whole bar of chocolate is an absurd amount of calories.

After I am full to the point I am in pain I feel pissed off for doing it. And depressed.

I gotta stop ! My abs are disappearing and I should be eating tight now to get ready for the spring/summer.

Ideas? Thoughts? Looking for some support guys..
 
Last edited:
Keeping it short but a little background...
Over the fall my mom got real sick with her cancer and wound up in hospice and dies a month later ...day after Thanksgiving... leading up to her death and now 2 months past been using binge eating as a form of stress relief. It turned into a habit I can't break.

Everyday is groundhogs day. I wake up and say today is the day. I eat perfect all day. And I am rock solid with proper mindset. But after dinner I go from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde.... complete different mindset. I become completely self sabotaging. I will eat ridiculous amounts of peanut butter....and whole bars of chocolate...and not even really be hungry.
The only good thing is its natural PB and organic 85% dark chocolate...both of which offer health benefits. But eating 6 to 10 tablespoons and a whole bar of chocolate is an absurd amount of calories.

After I am full to the point I am in pain I feel pissed off for doing it. And depressed.

I gotta stop ! My abs are disappearing and I should be eating tight now to get ready for the spring/summer.

Ideas? Thoughts? Looking for some support guys..
First my condolences brother can't imagine. Get out of the house go to the gym go to the park. If you have a bike ride it you need to find something to do until it's time to go to bed. You say all day long your good and I imagine your days are full of activities job whatever it might be but at home in the evening you have developed a pattern you just need to break. Again I'm sorry for your loss

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Thanks ! I appreciate that.
Yeah definitly a pattern. I'm busy all day and my mind is focused on all I need to do. But I guess at night I'm shutting it down and I relax. I mean I can't keep running around. Gotta unwind right. But it seems that's when I'm weak.

I have tried eating more healthy food and feel full and I still eat the other stuff! It's like I have to.

So doing some reading .... eating like this....PB and chocolate or for other people it's junk food... it sets off a dopamine response in the brain. Sugary foods are known for this and why they can be addicting.
I wonder if it's the dopamine I'm addicted to. Cause I am seriously full but I don't feel satisfaction. It's f×cking weird! Never had this happen.

I also realize this may be very well how people going through a hard time fall into drug abuse or alcoholism. Which I have no probs with.

Compared to drugs or alcohol this ain't shit. A drug addiction would seriously laugh at me. But I am not happy with this situation

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Thanks ! I appreciate that.
Yeah definitly a pattern. I'm busy all day and my mind is focused on all I need to do. But I guess at night I'm shutting it down and I relax. I mean I can't keep running around. Gotta unwind right. But it seems that's when I'm weak.

I have tried eating more healthy food and feel full and I still eat the other stuff! It's like I have to.

So doing some reading .... eating like this....PB and chocolate or for other people it's junk food... it sets off a dopamine response in the brain. Sugary foods are known for this and why they can be addicting.
I wonder if it's the dopamine I'm addicted to. Cause I am seriously full but I don't feel satisfaction. It's f×cking weird! Never had this happen.

I also realize this may be very well how people going through a hard time fall into drug abuse or alcoholism. Which I have no probs with.

Compared to drugs or alcohol this ain't shit. A drug addiction would seriously laugh at me. But I am not happy with this situation

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Brother I believe it's a pattern. Once it's broken and a little time has passed you'll be all good. And back to relaxing and who knows you may find something you really enjoy doing with your time.

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So basically what your saying is break the pattern. The buck stops here. Just make it happen.

I get that. But it's really tough. Like I said, it's as if I'm another person at the moment.

Well tomorrow I will have to step up to the plate...

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So basically what your saying is break the pattern. The buck stops here. Just make it happen.

I get that. But it's really tough. Like I said, it's as if I'm another person at the moment.

Well tomorrow I will have to step up to the plate...

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My friend that's just my 2 cents I've been told I'm as compassionate as a rock. Hell I picked the joker for my avatar how stable could I be. I hope the advise helps brother and sometimes you do just have to rip the bandaid off.

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Keeping it short but a little background...
Over the fall my mom got real sick with her cancer and wound up in hospice and dies a month later ...day after Thanksgiving... leading up to her death and now 2 months past been using binge eating as a form of stress relief. It turned into a habit I can't break.

Everyday is groundhogs day. I wake up and say today is the day. I eat perfect all day. And I am rock solid with proper mindset. But after dinner I go from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde.... complete different mindset. I become completely self sabotaging. I will eat ridiculous amounts of peanut butter....and whole bars of chocolate...and not even really be hungry.
The only good thing is its natural PB and organic 85% dark chocolate...both of which offer health benefits. But eating 6 to 10 tablespoons and a whole bar of chocolate is an absurd amount of calories.

After I am full to the point I am in pain I feel pissed off for doing it. And depressed.

I gotta stop ! My abs are disappearing and I should be eating tight now to get ready for the spring/summer.

Ideas? Thoughts? Looking for some support guys..
U sound just like me right now. I just mentioned it in thread about anything but chicken.
I do good all day I get home eat dinner after work. I am starving whole way home wife always has it cooked by the time I get home if it's 4:30 or later.
After supper kids snacks, since Halloween candy all night, those huge bags of M&M's with zip top. Wife got a bunch on sale I ate all of them every bag. All night long I go pee and grab hands full. Wtf!!! I can go on forever it's been bad.
I decided I was gonna break this and enough is enough. Leaving it alone. Tonight I ate two Oreoes and leaving it alone.
I am getting it together. I have some gw I may start using because it seams to help with my appetite suppress it after a week or so. Prolly from favor of burning stored fat rather than calories.
I decided I am gonna do a recomp lean bulk. With mast, sust, and a-var I will use I will have to clean it up. I have until now the time I fully start and esters kick in to have some of this fat cut to use my gear like it should be used. This is how I made my choice. I committed to these compounds!

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Ya know you brought up a good point MM... my 3 year daughter and the snack s. I would just throw the PB out but she eats it. And if I didn't have the Dark chocolate there is always something of hers laying around.
Nothing I can do about that.

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And I am sorry for your loss!
Keep the good memories u have and know that our loved ones just want us to be happy!!!

I guess it's depression with me too. Chocolate is my biggest weakness right now too.
I am a mechanic in oil field and since the Ebony hoax last year oil field crashed after that scare didn't keep that oil from coming out that area and country.
Around my parts people all lost their jobs, alot are living in campers holding on at some bullshit job.
I held on to my job but we at 35 hours a week and me and my family's life style has been used to 58-70 hours a week alot of overtime for as long as I knew.
I normally do stuff on side mechanic work but all gaps have been filled with layoffs that nothing is on side.
Hopefully Trump does something which it looks like he is making some waves. I live where I am watching our oil and gas go under and if these country's of terrorism watch us get out of production they can cut us off and hit us hard before things regroup. Just saying!!!

First Blood, THIS IS THE DEAL BUDDY! I will clean my crap up and get out of this funk and rise above this and get back my confidence and drive for live so let's do it together!!!
No more excuses we gotta be strong for our family and want our loved ones to know we pushing on to that place that may not be where we are right now but a foot in right direction everyday we will be headed there!

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You got it brother! Probably the best thing is is to join forces and kick it in the balls. Let's do it.!

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We work too hard to let ourselves go to he'll in a hat over some chocolate or PB!

I never heard the term Ebony hoax...I am aware of the dismal situation in the US oil industry.
I'm gonna Google ebony hoax and read up.
Not many people here on the east coast talk about this issue


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You got it brother! Probably the best thing is is to join forces and kick it in the balls. Let's do it.!

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I am in same boat as u right now. Different pain same struggle.
Spring is coming up we gotta think of the days getting longer and being able to have time to get more done outside. The winters and short days get to me along with tough times.
U gotta know or think of it like this, your mom would've wanted u to be all u could be at doing the things that made u happy!!!
My wife lost her dad then a year later her step dad. She was close to both and I have stood by her side even though she has taken alot of it out on me. I just try to be positive for her and she is finally out her slump after the last few years.

Start doing all the things you want to do with your Daugher. We gotta think of the fun we can have this spring with our kids and be active with them. Bring them do and see the simplest fun things that are amazing to them. Sometimes we gotta push ourselves aside and think of others and be of service to them. We can get out of ourselves. Let's do this buddy!!!


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We work too hard to let ourselves go to he'll in a hat over some chocolate or PB!

I never heard the term Ebony hoax...I am aware of the dismal situation in the US oil industry.
I'm gonna Google ebony hoax and read up.
Not many people here on the east coast talk about this issue


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Lol!!! U may not find anything buddy!!!
It's just been a suspicion!!! Lol

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You said it right MM!
Tomorrow is day one and if you mess up I'm not letting it go easy bro...and I expect the same from you!
We don't need luck ... we need some focus and discipline.
Let's crush!

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You said it right MM!
Tomorrow is day one and if you mess up I'm not letting it go easy bro...and I expect the same from you!
We don't need luck ... we need some focus and discipline.
Let's crush!

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It's on!!! Just leave the sweets alone.
I am planning on having fat free yogurt and honey bunches of oat as snack after dinner. I always eat before 6 so hungry again at 8.
I also will start getting up and hitting gym before work. Leave home at 5:15!
If doing this I wanna give myself time for good workout and do it only with protein in my tank but for igf pump I will either carb up or figure something out.
Also wanna be wore out at night to sleep early less cravings.

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So basically what your saying is break the pattern. The buck stops here. Just make it happen.

I get that. But it's really tough. Like I said, it's as if I'm another person at the moment.

Well tomorrow I will have to step up to the plate...

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Brother, you hit the nail on the head in your previous post describing the similarities to alcoholism and drug addiction. And believe me, I have known some overeaters whose food addiction is just as life threatening as a drug addiction or alcoholism. I realize you're not there. But it does happen.

So, what you're doing is a coping mechanism. You are undoubtedly grief stricken over your mother's passing - and, in my usual clumsy way, I neglected to offer my condolences. Please accept them. I suggest you need to find a way to deal with that grief. Which probably means talking to someone about it, and probably more often than you want to. You can't get a handle on the binging because it's a symptom, not the root problem.

Where I'm coming from: I'm a recovering alcoholic. Been sober over 30 years. And before anyone tries to pat me on the back for that, consider this: taking credit for that would be like taking credit for running out of a burning building. I'm not bragging, I'm simply demo strating that I know from experience what an addiction is like. What it feels like to be out of control. To WANT to stop doing something but can't help myself. People like me who have the disease of addiction need to go through a process to get to "causes and conditions", deal with those, make changes in our lives and continue with maintenance. I'm WAY over simplifying in order to keep it brief. I'm thinking in your case, since you're not an addict/alcoholic and you have recognized this pattern and already more or less connected the dots (drug addicts/alcoholics typicall don't until they're WAY beyond "just stopping"), if you deal with the things from which you seek escape, you'll be fine.

So, maybe find a therapist. Lean on some close friends. Bend their ears. Do whatever you gotta do to face your grief and deal with it. Or whatever it is. Maybe there are other stresses or issues, or whatever.

You're not weak if you identify something that's causing you pain and deal with it. That is strength. Weakness is pretending it's not there while hiding in a bottle; a needle and spoon; or a peanut butter jar! Lol!

There's my 2 cents. Hope it helps.
 
I am also a recovering alcoholic and addict for 10 years i have been sober. I take no pain meds at all and have had surgeries without them. I was addicted to them. But I learned that I had to become a good man, a good member of society, someone I can live with. I am not perfect but I can deal with who I am and I had to accept the things I did and face them for what they were.

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